Mental machinations and "50's", round 2...

23-24sept07
Two days off after an interesting and fairly intense working week overall… spent reading and relaxing, overwhelmed with abundance both tangible and intangible as time marked the advent of my 53rd year [smile] Thoroughly enjoying “round two” of the “50’s” (first run from 1954 when I first landed on the planet, so to speak [laughing]), my best and certainly most adventuresome decade yet, and I give thanks daily for continued health and “wealth” born of the love and support of family and friends, and the opportunity to grow and explore immersed in something that speaks to the heart of me. Very cool!

Progress/process...
3 months completed, 4 remaining. The pattern of days is shifting as we go into fall and move from work with GV teams to just the hands of the receiving families and an occasional 1 day team/group. I feel the length of time stretching in front of me sometimes, particularly after days where the primary words heard are all in a foreign tongue. I have enormous respect for the millions who have immigrated to the US over the years and made their way in a land that was foreign in every way. The human spirit and drive are amazing when applied with commitment, desire, and a positive frame of mind, yes?

Communication...
I also feel heart and emotion sitting close at times, though not related to anything readily identifiable... I am very at ease on my own (though admit traveling solo where no one speaks English feels a bit daunting at times!), so not lonely... instead, running a continual mental “gratitude journal”, anticipating what's next while at the same time learning to live very present moment and trust/relax in situations where I've no real idea what's being said... and remembering that a mere 7% of communication is actually verbal, proven out regularly in interactions with my landlady [laughing again]

Contribution...
Still driven to contribute now and in the years to come, and at the same time sometimes drawn to the notion of finding a quiet place to simply be and let the world take care of itself sans this one set of heart and hands. Then the question of what one person can do rolls up, and I'm back on track again. In the end, a healthy balance seems the obvious "answer"... quietude, art/creative endeavors, exploring/giving back, living and loving... musings from a curious mind [smile]

Challenge...
A friend recently shared: “I have faith in your faith. Recently letters Mother Teresa had written to the Pope/Vatican revealed that she had great moments of despair and doubts even to the existence of God. Imagine the despair she witnessed, and how it must have affected her. So many times when she must have asked, "God where are you"? He answered that I am within all of you"!”

Celebration....
While on a level seemingly far different the Mother Teresa, I/we are all humans finding our way to our dreams, the divine within us, yes? If I were about safe and familiar, I would be at home, working a conventional job, debt free, hanging with those I know, still dreaming versus living full out. The alternative? I am living my dream life in this moment, certain I am where I am supposed to be, all senses at the ready for opportunities to both give and receive in whatever form.

Community...
Re perspective… we can easily miss the depth of those we chance to meet in life. I have been honored to meet many "unsung heroes" on Habitat sites, and appreciate that those who live with quiet grace are often the movers and shakers that keep our world going. I pray that in some small way I am/will be one of them, fighting not for country but for the community we call humanity, one home, one touch, one gesture, one human at a time...